A Chip Off the Old Bloc

Grand Cafe CCCP
28 Kiacheli Street. Tel: 877 57 66 67

At 8:30 on a Monday night, Grand Cafe CCCP (USSR) was full of young men and women. The ratio of drinks to dishes at their tables was weighted heavily towards the former. We would have done well to follow their lead—the menu at Grand Cafe CCCP is expensive, and the quality of the food is out-of-step with the prices. A sampling of mid-range dishes (GEL 6-18) got us a transatlantic flight-grade supper.

Grand Cafe CCCP offers a loosely Russian menu with many variations (since when were Potatoes “Idaho” a Soviet standby?). On our visit at least, the restaurant’s food was better on paper than on the plate. The Uzbechka (GEL 12) — chicken fillets with honey and plums served with rice — was disappointing. The meat was dry and mostly flavorless — with only a distantly sweet glaze &mdasgh; and the rice was very bland. The “Blue Medals“ beef (GEL 18) — a minor constellation of thin steak slices in a blue cheese sauce topped with scattered tater-tots — was rich and flavorful, but the portion was very small. The side and appetizer dishes had a better price-to-food ratio, though here the descriptions on the menu were somewhat misleading. (“Stuffed tomatoes” apparently means tomato slices topped with a shredded soft cheese-dill-and-mayo combo.). The pelmeni (meat dumplings – GEL 6.50) were tasty but very modestly apportioned. A blurb on info-tbilisi.com says that the “Brezhnev’s Favorite Salmon” (salmon with sour cream and caviar) and “Mushrooms Proletariat” are good, but I was hesitant to try them, given the mediocrity of the cheaper dishes and their cost (the fish dishes inch into the GEL 30’s).

Throughout the restaurant, objects from the Soviet era — stamps, posters, banners, statuettes, busts of Lenin - are installed on shelves and in glowing recesses in the wall. The cumulative effect is (thankfully) underwhelming. Grand Cafe CCCP’s aesthetic nod to the Soviet era is ameliorated by an international play list and the owner’s decidedly restrained application of kitsch. (If you, for some reason, long to immerse yourself in Soviet-era paraphernalia, the Dry Bridge market is a better bet). In many cases, the decor is less shrine and more send-up of Soviet sensibilities - one poster reads (in English): “Your power core is under attack! Red Leader says: Defend it, fuckface!”

Grand Cafe CCCP is a better destination for drinks than for dinner. Available alcohol includes a Glenmorangie old enough to enlist in the army (from GEL 10), a range of tequilas (GEL 6), flavored vodkas (from GEL 4), imported beers, local wines, and a long list of cocktails. With cafe-style seating in the front and a lounge-style area in the back, Grand Cafe CCCP is a comfortablec — if smoky — hang-out. The lounge’s black leather couches are deep and commodious, and a tent of thin fabric overhead casts pleasantly diffused light throughout the dining room. Diners seeking good Russian fare would be advised to eat elsewhere, and then retire here for the alcohol and old shkola ambiance.
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Published in Georgia Today, 11 May 2007