Food Fetish

Area chefs pay lip service to eroticism

On the Half Shell
Originally uploaded by Maxed (not me!).

My boyfriend and I sit at a small table, waiting for eggs benedict, sautéed vegetables and sourdough toast. Our breakfast arrives. He spears a red pepper and holds it out for me to eat. When I lean forward to nip the pepper off his fork, I do so furtively, blushing, as if the act of eating were somehow illicit.

In my mouth, the sliver of sautéed red pepper is soft, almost silken. When I gently bite down on it, it has the same gradual, fleshy give as my lower lip. I chew slowly, relishing the pepper’s smoky flavor and its slippery texture on my tongue. I swallow, and the aftertaste — and the look I’m getting from across the table — leaves me feeling a few degrees warmer. And hungrier. My mouth is wet with saliva, my appetite whetted for the next mouthful.

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about bad chocolate and pink hearts from the pharmacy. It can be an occasion for extraordinary dining. Whatever — or whomever — you eat on Valentine’s Day, the experience should make your toes curl with pleasure.

Food is sexy. The reverse — sex is foody — can also be true. But while chocolate body-paint or peach-flavored lubricants may taste good, they’re just dressing, not a full course. Food foreplay doesn’t have to be confined to the bedroom; you may be surprised at what a slow sit-down dinner can do for your libido.

For gastronomic guidance on the subject of sexy food, I looked to the experts: the chefs. What do these pros, who are so intimate with food, have to say about dining on aphrodisiacs? What entrées are especially erotic? What spices arouse the senses? What flavors suggest sex? Whether you plan on dining out or in, here's what some Vermont chefs suggest as a prelude to a kiss:

Sean Connory on a Plate

Bill Tecosky, Rainbow Sweets, Marshfield
Bill and his wife, Patricia Halloran, have developed a dessert that's something of a local legend. "We bake pastry balls and inject them with still-hot French pastry cream. Then we deftly dip them in hot caramel, so they are hard and crunchy on the outside like a crème brulée." Two of these one-inch balls, called profiteroles, sit atop a layered concoction of confections: a layer of puffed pastry, a layer of éclair pastry and a layer of "whippéd" cream. "You can't believe how many of these we have to make to avoid civil unrest.

"I stand behind these things all day, and when women come in, I see looks in their eyes that their men don't see. I see jaws hit chests."

The name of this fabulous confection? Officially, it's the Saint Honoré, but Bill defers to his "double-X-chomosome customers" who have dubbed the dessert "Sean Connory on a plate." For younger indulgers, he says, "It could be Edward Norton. It's in the mind of the beholder. For older guys like me, it might be Brigitte Bardot.

"I have a 1-900 number where I describe pastries. It's 1-900-TALK-PASTRIES."

Amuse Bouche

Steve Schimoler, The Mist Grill, Waterbury
"Let's face it — great sex doesn't happen in five minutes. It should take an extended period of time. Foreplay is essential to great sex." Accordingly, The Mist Grill's wide-ranging Valentine's menu offers sustained stimulation for an extended — and playful — prelude to a hot night at home. Schimoler serves up a kaleidoscope of classical aphrodisiacs in novel and suggestive arrangements. "It’s about imitation, about having great food that parodies the sex act."

Menu highlights: butter-soft salmon "with a texture of silk-panties." Duck Confit with Ibarra Chocolate and Chipotle Mole — to elicit "that bead of sweat on your brow for the main act." For vegetarians, there’s a luscious mushroom dish finished with white truffle oil, whose musky scent "smells like sex." And for the Sweet Finish, a tartlet for two: Adam and Eve's Apple Gallette with Warm Cinnamon Caramel. The smell of cinnamon and baking apples has been proven to get people in the mood, and the warm caramel’s texture is "like body paint."

And the white silky cream?

"That’s for whatever anyone wants to think it is."

Ooh, La La!

Carole Fisher, Mes Amis, Stowe
"The trick is to give an oral orgasm. You know that you've succeeded as a chef when you hear people going Oh... Mmmm! We want that to last through the entire meal."

At Mes Amis, sumptuous offerings are a matter of course. Or courses, if you're hungry enough. "We’re very sensual to begin with — we go through a lot of oysters here." Briney, satiny and decidedly feminine, oysters are a noted aphrodisiac. And, Carole adds, "Having the animal in your mouth makes some people a little wild."

A rack of lamb also might excite: "It's something you can eat with your fingers. It's a very tactile, basic, Raaarh! Red meat! kind of thing. It brings out the caveman — or woman — for the evening."

Yin-Yang

Steve Bogart, A Single Pebble, Burlington
Contrast and balance are key concepts in Steve Bogart's culinary philosophy; he talks about the Yin and Yang of the food. "Everything on the menu is balanced, so no matter what you order, it is going to go well with everything else."

A Single Pebble's most erotic dish, by Steve’s estimation, is also its most popular: mock eel. Bogart developed his version from a traditional Buddhist recipe, featuring strands of wok-fried shiitake mushroom in a salty, sweet seasoning. "With the crispiness of the outside, and the soft, almost velvetiness of the shiitake mushrooms on the inside, and the saltiness that is almost instantly counteracted by sweetness — I've had customers come up and tell me it's like eating sex."

Play With Your Food

Dale Conoscenti, Conoscenti, Montpelier
Dale Conoscenti identifies his "free-form lobster ravioli" — which incudes a lobster tail and claw slow-cooked with butter and drizzled with truffle oil — as his sexiest dish. Good sex, and good food, indulge sight, smell, and touch for a full sensory experience. "Whether we like it or not, we play with our food."

A mental flirtation with the subject never hurts, either. "There's a mystique around lobster. Here's this large, red, hard-shelled thing, and it's all mine... and I know what's under that shell: rich, sumptuous mouthfuls of delicate white meat." Plus, you get to eat it with your bare
hands.

"Food for me is about passion. A sexual relationship — if it’s a good one — is also about passion." And eating with the person you love? "That's double passion."

Acheiving O

Fleury Mahoney, O Restaurant, Burlington
"For a romantic dinner, I would choose something really beautiful. We serve it on big white plates. . . in a bare-bones kind of way, so the food is very erotic in its nakedness."

Mahoney recommends plump, fresh, flown-in, eco-friendly oysters, spiced and on the half-shell, resting on a bed of sea salt evocative of the beach, "so it looks like they've just washed up on the shore." Oysters may be consumed with several house sauces, and with caviar. For sensual food, "caviar with oysters is about as decadent as you can get."

Love, Italian-Style

Tom Delia, Trattoria Delia, Burlington
"Eat like the Italians do — 'cause they're the best lovers!"

Delia’s menu offers an eclectic — and authentic — Italian menu, with regional specialties. Anything with an especially erotic in the mix? "Wild mushrooms." A.k.a. funghi selvaggi.

How do the Italians eat? "In small courses, always sharing. You share the antipasta, the pasta, the main course, and, of course, a bottle of wine. Instead of a good dining experience, with the right wine, you have a great one."

Food Science

Tara Vaughan-Hughes, Eat Good Food, Vergennes
For food that get you in the mood, Tara Vaugahn-Hughes cites culinary critic M.F.K Fisher: "If you give someone a steak and a glass of wine, watch for when their earlobes turn red: that's the time to ask them for a favor. Or ask them to sleep with you. Because that's when they're in the best mood."

Of course, there's always "the old standby" of chocolate. The body responds to chocolate with the same chemical it produces when in love. And Eat Good Food has an "amazing" chocolate cake — layered, with dense, dark chocolate and almonds. "It's just chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! And served warm, it's just amazing. It has a nice give in your mouth, a silken feel."

Anything to avoid on Valentine's day? "Oh God — no beans!"

Share, Cherie

Gay Truax, Tully and Marie’s, Middlebury
"I like to mix textures so the desserts are exciting to eat. We have a midnight chocolate mousse, for example, that we serve with a star and a moon shortbread cookie, which is both crisp and soft." Also texturally tantalizing is the crème brulee, whose "hot, crispy sugary crust sits atop a mound of cool, creamy custard."

For visual stimulation, Tully and Marie’s midnight mousse is served "up," in a martini glass, and a V-Day special is in the works for a "very pretty" heart-shaped dessert for two.

Since sharing food is definitely sexy, T&M's is planning a chocolate and chambord fondue for two, with cubed coconut pound cake and fresh fruit, which "you can eat on your own, or feed to each other."

How to Chow

Jeff Brogan, Chow! Bella, St. Albans
"I would definitely suggest strawberries — either as an entree or to finish
with. And champagne."
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Published in Seven Days 5 February 2003